Having already been through the recruitment and selection process there’s so much to catch up on. So, let me begin by setting the scene.

Before submitting my application to become a trainee train driver with ‘one’ railway, I had no experience of working on the railways. My background was always in admin and customer service, but I was ready for a total change. I wasn’t sure in exactly what direction I wanted to head, but I was sure that it would be out of an office.

Having read the ‘How to Become a Train Driver’ webpage, I was already aware of the types of tests and assessments I was likely to encounter. So, when I was called to an assessment, I was surprised that it was only going to comprise a concentration and mechanical comprehension test. It later transpired that this was just a pre-selection process to weed out the total no-hopers.

Even though this was just a pre-selection process, it was still tough. I was expecting that we would get the infamous Group Bourdon “dots” test but we ended up with the SCAAT test instead, which demands mental adaptability as well as concentration.

Still, it was good to meet some of the other candidates and chat between the tests. I was quite surprised that there were a number who were returning to driving having been away from it for some time, and that I was very much in the minority in not having a railway background. It was quite an honour to have been told that I’d successfully progressed to the next stage.

The next stage of the selection process takes a whole day during which candidates face the entire battery of aptitude tests and a structured interview. For me, this was due to take place in an obscure office near Watford town centre. However, they failed to inform me that the venue had been switched at the last minute because workmen in the building were making an unacceptable amount of noise. So, having had a hair-raising journey around the M25 to get there, I had to wait an agonising 30 minutes for the test administrator to collect myself and one other candidate. The substitute venue in a Regus building was hardly any better, as a fire alert the previous day had meant that their heating boiler had gone offline overnight and the offices were still freezing cold. Still, we reckoned that if we could pass the assessments in such trying conditions we should be assured of a position.

As we’d previously done the Mechanical Comprehension test at the pre-selection session, we weren’t expected to do another. However, even though we’d all taken the SCAAT test just over a week previously, we were still expected to do the Group Bourdon test. I can’t speak for the other candidates but, compared to the SCAAT test, I found the Group Bourdon to be much easier. Then it was the TRP and RAAT tests about which there’s not much to tell. After that, we were all led in one by one for the computerised Fast Reaction & Co-ordination Test. As I was due to go third out of five I had plenty of time to build up a head of nervous energy, which was not helped when the first candidate came out a physically and emotionally broken man. When my turn came I made a bad start by trying to be too quick and belting the buttons and pedals far too hard but, with a bit of coaching, I managed to settle down.

With the tests out of the way, there was time to settle the nerves before the structured interview. If anything, this was the part that I was most dreading. However, the interviewer put my mind to rest immediately by telling me that I’d managed “…straight A’s” on all the tests. If she had been better looking I’d have kissed her. Anyway, it did the trick I was soon relaxing into it and merrily chatting away about this and that until she had filled in all the boxes on her form.

And with that I was free to go.

I never heard that I had passed the Assessment Centre but assumed that I must have when I was called to attend a medical.

There’s not very much to report about this, except that the chap who was nearly broken by the Fast Reaction & Co-ordination Test must have done alright in the end as he was sitting in the medical centre waiting room as I arrived. However, it is probably worth mentioning that I have never been so thoroughly examined as I was that day.

All of this just about brings me up to date. It was always very hard to judge how I had performed at each stage, as I really had no idea what they were looking for. To have come out the other side with a formal offer of a position as a trainee driver was brilliant beyond words. Just yesterday I received all the various paperwork, including a copy of a contract of employment, new entrant’s details form, a staff travel pass application and details of where to go for an induction. So, from 4th April, I’m going to be a trainee train driver for ‘one’ railway!

The only slightly worrying point is that the accompanying letter says that the offer is still conditional on passing the medical and on getting acceptable references. I hope I get it, as I’ve already had to hand in my notice for my current job.

It seems that my fears were unfounded. Shortly after the last entry I received details of an induction week starting on 4th April at the Ipswich Town football ground at Portman Road .

The week itself was billed as a corporate induction, and centred primarily on ‘one’ as a company and why we were important as individuals. As someone new to the company and the industry, it was interesting and surprising to hear more about the basis on which the ‘one’ franchise was won, and the nature of the relationships between the various railway companies and the effect that this has on the services being offered.

Although there was a lot of corporate blather, there were sessions on customer service, conflict management and communication. Some of these topics may seem a bit odd for drivers to cover, but the group was mixed and included newly inducted customer service staff and even engineers.

The worth of these sessions was ably demonstrated on a “field trip” that took place on the Tuesday. Having split into smaller groups we were tasked with surveying four ‘one’ stations. The day itself saw a fair bit of disruption, with signalling problems, failed trains at Liverpool Street and on the mainline at both Stowmarket and Diss, and a fatality on the West Anglia network all contributing to the fun of the day. For our group starting at Ipswich , we spent all day on the trains and actually saw very few stations due to the importance of making connections. With all this chaos around, one of the biggest priorities was making sure that passengers were informed at all times, and it was plain to see the important role that drivers had to play in this, even when not actually driving.

As well as inducting us into the company way of thinking, there were sessions on some of the relevant legislation that we would be expected to have to comply with, some basic fire safety training and an introduction to track safety and railway terminology from a no-nonsense former fitter of many years experience. The last of these was one of the most interesting and enjoyable sessions of the week, and the only one in which I took copious notes. Having been apprenticed to the railways during the last days of steam, the trainer was never short of an amusing or thought provoking anecdote to illustrate some point or other.

All in all it was a relaxed and very interesting week. I don’t think that there was an awful lot that I would consider was “training” as such as so much of it was commonsense, but I would consider it a very good grounding in the basics of the company’s ethos and the expectations that they have of me as an employee. How much of it stays with me by the time I complete the training process remains to be seen.

First week at the Hornsey training school and it seems like the wheels have already fallen off.

While we were busy swanning about in Ipswich last week, our instructor was scratching his head wondering where we all were. Due to a mix up somewhere along the line it would seem that us trainee drivers should not have been swanning around in the luxury at Ipswich at all, but slumming it in the training school portacabin straight away receiving a far more “driver-orientated” induction. Not only that, but what we should have covered we didn’t, and what we should have been provided with we weren’t. Scratch day one, as we all head to the Bishops Stortford depot to collect hi-vis vests, rule books, sectional appendix and all the other paraphernalia that we should have had from day one. Still, it was a lovely afternoon for a walk down by the river with the wife.

To our trainer’s great credit (and with a bit of re-scheduling), we are now back to where we should have been at this point last week. With fire safety and emergency first aid tomorrow followed by personal track safety for the rest of the week, we should at least be in a position to start driver training proper by next Monday.

I’m very pleased to say that your humble correspondent has survived the week to report on passing the first training module.

Being totally new to the railways, I and my colleagues were first required to take and pass the Personal Track Safety (PTS) assessment so that we could be passed competent to wander around the railway environment. Although we’d been out around Hornsey depot letting off fire extinguishers and playing with track circuit clips and detonators, this was small beer in comparison with what was required to pass the PTS assessment – you have to get all the questions right.

As well as a written exam, we had to do a practical track walking exercise that required crossing the running lines. The particular running lines in question form one of the busier parts of the East Coast Mainline a scant four miles outside Kings Cross along which GNER, WAGN and Hull Trains expresses travel at 95mph. Not at all daunting, then.

As things turned out, it wasn’t too bad and I didn’t need a change of undies. Although we had to get right the way across all six running lines and the Ferme Park Sidings none of us ended up as a messy smear on the front of a GNER express. To be honest, there was a small track crew out working on the down slow line in a ‘red zone’ (see, I learnt something), and I spent most of the time watching their lookout to get advance warning of any ‘down’ trains as he had a better view around the flyover than I had. Cheating? Possibly. They still gave me my PTS card though, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain.

Since passing my PTS assessment there hasn’t really been an awful lot of note to report. The driver training is still in its initial induction phase, and we’re getting some fairly basic introductions to the various facets of the job of train driver.

As well as classroom sessions and sessions out in the depot we’ve had out days to the various locations at which we will be based. So far we’ve had introductions to the publications and notices that drivers are expected to use, arrangements for signing on and off duty and a brief look at some of the more major systems on the Class 317 EMU that forms our basic traction. This week will be spent mostly looking at signalling systems. The tone has been quite relaxed with the emphasis on getting a flavour of each topic before having to worry about getting as heavily engrossed as we will need to be to pass the Rules training that will come later. Even so, it’s amazing how much we’ve all learnt in such a short space of time.

Still haven’t even got close to driving a train yet, though.

Well, I was warned that things might get a bit more complicated as time went on. Having spent all last week being introduced to the basic concepts of signalling (basic…?!), we’re now getting into the somewhat murkier waters of passing signals at danger with and without authority, temporary block working and train failures.

Everything was going swimmingly last week. We had a cab-riding exercise on one day with task books to complete and an out day to Cambridge Integrated Electronic Signalling Centre (IECC) and Kings Lynn signalbox to show us how the theory translated into practice. Frankly, Cambridge IECC was a bit of a waste of time as the signallers didn’t tell us much and we were left to fathom things out for ourselves (“So, tell us what it all does”. “Er, well the red lights are the trains. Any questions?”). Kings Lynn signalbox was much better with the signaller giving a full description of what he was doing and even letting us throw some points. I can’t pretend that I understood absolutely everything, but I think I’ve taken in enough to stand me in good stead for my rules course. I even managed to get my head around TPWS, which our trainer had warned us was not an easy subject to understand, so I thought I was doing well.

I think that this week might be a bit more of a challenge for me. Having grasped how things work when everything is running as it should and what all the different types of signals and aspects mean, there is still an awful lot more to understand. Given that it’s one of the few things that stops us all bumping into each other I can see why a good understanding of signalling is vital. Doesn’t make it any less complicated, though.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to put the kettle on before settling down with some light reading.

Someone once said that a little knowledge can be dangerous. As from today, I and the others in the class have the piece of paper as proof of that. Having passed the final assessment for the “Introduction to Rules” course, our little knowledge and us are being allowed to progress to the next phase of the training.

The next stage is three weeks of ‘front-end turns’, where we will each shadow a driver to see how the basic theory we have learned is carried out in practice. In some respects I’m quite hoping that the network will fall flat on it’s face at least once so that I can see things like signals being passed at danger (with authority, naturally) and assisting failed trains. It would be quite dull to spend the whole three weeks just shuttling up and down on greens the whole time and never seeing what happens when the excrement hits the fan.

Today also marks the last day for us in civvies, as we have finally taken delivery of our uniforms. Some of it is OK, but I’ve got a particular bugbear with the shirts that we’ve been issued. At first glance they have the sheen of fair quality kit, but on closer inspection this sheen is revealed as only superficial. The shirts are truly awful. Had it been my own money they would have been straight back to the shop to be exchanged. I spent two and a half tortuous hours trying to iron my six shirts, none of which appear to have a straight seam between them. (Before anyone comments, I’m actually a bit of a Domestic God and a dab hand at ironing shirts.) And as for the sleeves…!! By the time I’d got to the last one, I’d been reduced to a Basil Fawlty-esque rage and had more than once bent double over the offending garment in a rictus of fury, silently shaking my fist at it as if daring it to crease in the wrong place. At the least my wife had the decency not to dissolve into gales of laughter.

Well, not quite.

No, I’ve not been given the sack. Well, not yet anyway.

This week I have been playing at being a train driver and doing everything that a train driver does (er, except actually driving any trains obviously). For the last couple of days I have been up at 4am to sign-on for an early turn, drinking tea and reading discarded newspapers in messrooms, and answering the daft questions of the travelling public (“Yes this train is the Stansted Express, as it clearly says on the departure board, the platform monitor, the train destination indicator and in big orange lettering on the side of every coach you myopic muppet…!!!”). Oh, and I’ve also been riding in the secondman’s seat to observe the railway.

So far it’s been really interesting, with trips to Chingford and Stansted Airport ad nauseum. I’m hoping that I’ll have the chance to visit a few of the more exotic destinations as the weeks progress (Hertford, Cambridge…?) so that I can get to see as much of the West Anglia network as possible. I’m not yet sure in exactly what way it’s helping me in my training. While talking about and drawing things in the classroom are all well and good, I imagine that actually seeing them out in the real world will help to make them more memorable. Thanks to a track circuit and points failure at Hackney Downs this morning I’ve already seen how signals are passed at danger with authority, and feel confident that I can remember the procedure.

On another note, the new uniform is causing some hilarity. Unlike most of the drivers I’ve seen so far, I have retained my youthful figure and still resemble a giant matchstick (slender body and large bonce), which means that everything is far too baggy on me. The blazers have already been returned and replacements ordered, although there’s nothing that can be done about the tent-like shirts. Still, as the driver’s uniform is identical to those worn by ticket inspectors, I now have the uncanny knack of emptying a carriage of fare-dodging schoolkids and other riff-raff and enjoying a quiet and relaxing ride home.

This train driving lark is great fun!! OK so I’m not actually doing anything yet, but I’m still having a great time. Apart from a couple of signalling failures which caused a fair bit of delay, the days have been uneventful. Speaking to the drivers I’ve been placed with, this is just the way we like it.

As well as getting a good view of the driving I’ve been picking up quite a bit of information about the more mundane things work out on a day-to-day basis, which will be really helpful. I must admit to being really mystified by all the rosters and notices on my first few visits to the depot and wondering how I would ever get on, but once someone has explained what it all means and how you can swap turns between drivers it’s a whole lot less daunting. Quite a few drivers seem to have swapped all their unwanted shifts and have managed to get themselves onto permanent earlies, afternoons or nights depending on what suits them best, which seems to be fine. In fact, with some negotiation and a bit of judicious swapping with other drivers, it seems that you can pretty much suit yourself when you work and when you don’t as long as all the turns are covered.

It’s going to be quite a shock to the system when I have to go back to the school for rules at the end of the month.

I’m a little cross today, as I’ve just had confirmation that our rules course is to be delayed by a week. Added to the week that we are already behind because of the corporate induction at Ipswich , we have lost two weeks in as many months. Next week should have been the second week of our rules course but instead we will be getting an extra week of front end turns.

I guess it’s understandable that someone wants to take some leave, but it does grate a wee bit when we’ve been told that we can’t at least until the classroom phase of the training is over. My view is that what’s good for the goose is surely good for the gander, and that we should have been presented with the option of also taking some leave. Not a happy bunny.

In an interesting twist on life imitating art, I was subjected to the worst delays so far. ( Liverpool Street signallers should look away now.) For some reason that neither of us could fathom we were delayed getting out of Stansted Airport on a slow ‘up’ train and were put inside virtually everywhere to let every man and his dog pass. Five late at the airport had grown to almost twenty late by the time we arrived at Liverpool Street with a train groaning with people. This then became ten late on the way ‘down’, and even then a slow train was let in front of us as we were stopped at Bethnal Green, at which juncture my driver made an apt comment (the exact phrasing of which currently escapes me) that evoked a picture of the two of us being forcibly made to participate in an unnatural sexual act with a salad vegetable.